I failed...?

As humans, everyone wants life to be like a fairy tale: perfect family, physique, academics, and so on. The list is endless if we ask anyone about what the perfect life should be! and it can't be a surprise to say that no one wants to fail in their life. it's an irony! Life is not a fairy tale, that goes smoothly, it gives you a roller coaster ride! At some point in time, everyone tastes failure in their life, and getting back again is the real spirit. isn't?

But it is tough to apply in practical life as it comes with lots of anxiety, taunts, depression, etc. Life is not the same for everyone, some have to deal with lots of family pressure, health issues, poverty, and many more, Success is different for everyone, some get family support, and some fight their battles alone! 

Everyone sees their life as success and failure, achievements and battles, for me it is lessons and success.

Completed schooling at one of the prestigious schools in India, and was a topper in studies to all extracurricular activities whether, in debate competitions, essay competitions, or representing the school at the national level, my success graph is going only in the upward direction, every time I participated in any competition, one award is fixed by my side. I was a favorite student of every teacher, and my parents are super proud to have a daughter like me in their life. everything was going so smoothly!

But waiittttttttttt.... life is not a fairytale, welcome to the competitive world my dear self, getting the taste of success in every scenario of life, I was so confident to get that whatever I do in my life!

Doing my preparation from day one of the year, even sacrificing my basic likes, avoiding all the festivals, and family time, giving excuses to friends to save time for study, having a morning with books and mocks to ending my day analyzing those mocks and making to-do list for next day. this is how my whole time goes. I was super confident that I would break that particular exam in my very first attempt. 

why not? I am scoring more than enough marks in my mocks, doing my all things with full honesty. 

finally, the day came when I took my exam with calmness, confidence, and faith in god and myself.

I was happy with my preparation and my performance during the exam hall. I was so happy that I called my Big B and said "yeh vla to nikl gya exam"!

The result came...and guess what? I failed....!!!!!!!! Yes, the girl who always succeeds in her life, failed by just 0.75 marks!!! Yes, exactly what you are reading is just 0.75 marks, the cutoff was 36.88 and I scored 36.13 marks!

I shivered, blankly, and cried "Why me"? But now what? not cried in so many years, tears came from my eyes, I was silent... taking a deep breath, yes, I have to hide my tears from my parents, I am a big girl now, how can I share that I felt broken, deeply sad, without knowing what was my fault? 

Our generation is not perfect in so many things but we are perfect in hiding our emotions, and our pain from our parents and close ones. 

After having this bitter taste, I can't stop here. One thing constantly running through my mind is that "It's good to fail in the early stage because you know how to cope up with that, instead of failing in your 50s!!

With the spirit in me and desire to succeed in my eyes, a girl with double enthusiasm, who can't settle for ordinary, will stand and fight back again!

                                        Giving up is not in my book!

        For me, Mindset is everything, just change your mindset and you are halfway done, my friend!!

    and most importantly, don't lose your spirit, and your inner self because in the darkest days of your life, it is only you, who lift you up always!!